The perfect date for 18-year-olds, 28-year-olds, people in their 60s?
Movies? Ice cream? Nope.
Mini golf is easily the best date on planet Earth.
Let me start by saying I’m very, very old-fashioned. Friends even call me “60s Joey.”
But as far as nicknames go, when you’re in your early 20s, it could be worse, right?
OK, let’s get to it. We’ve all been on first dates, and when they begin, they’re no fun.
Mini golf, however, comes with easy ways to break the ice. First things first, which color ball is she going to pick? Pink is a classic choice, but maybe she likes the lime green one for some strange reason you’ll soon find out. A conversation starter to be sure.
All right, you let her go first. Very chivalrous.
Now that you’re playing, it’s the perfect pace, isn’t it? You can focus on your shot, make small talk, crack a joke.
And while you’re moving from hole to hole, the music is just right, as in, no blaring rock or rap. You’re just vibing to Jim Croce, Jimmy Buffett, or maybe some Elvis.
Can’t go wrong with any of them.
I know, there’s that annoying group behind you going too fast, just when you’re probably in line to win. Don’t be rushed. Show some personality. Do a trick shot, putt with your eyes closed, anything you can do to make her laugh.
By the way, isn’t it awesome you’ve paid only $22 thus far? It doesn’t cost a lot of green to play mini golf.
All right, it’s the final hole – AKA the one that swallows your ball so you don’t steal it as a first-date souvenir. You both make your shots and, hopefully, you’ve tossed the scorecard out by this point.
Those were 30-40 minutes you’ll never forget, but it’s not the end.
The course I used to go to – Stix in North Attleboro – has picnic tables where you can order lemonade or watermelon slushies. Let’s do that.
Also, the conversation is just on a roll at this point. You’ve eliminated all of the awkward talk from the first two holes, and now it’s just… easy.
Before you go, you snap a picture in front of that cool mini waterfall and, boom, you’re on your way.
“Margaritaville” by Buffett is stuck in your head, but it was worth it.
Not sold? Here are other reasons why mini golf is the best.
You learn a little something about your date. For example, is she or he being too competitive – to the point where it’s, well, weird?
Or maybe they’re Mr. or Ms. Serious with their picture-perfect focus and not having fun with it. I’ll pass.
Parking is easy, it’s affordable even with the slushies, just competitive enough, beautiful scenery, it’s usually near other shops, and usually not too crowded unless you go on a holiday.
You see what I mean? Mini golf is for people on both the front and back nine of life.
Now, take your date to a course this summer and snap that picture.
Joey Barrett is sports editor of the Daily Item in Lynn.
